Villainous Happiness
by Windrises
Summary: Emperor Pilaf tries to come up with another evil plan, but he gets sidetracked by his new feelings for Bulma. Meanwhile, Goku tries to stop fighting with Vegeta.


Note: Dragon Ball is an anime that was done by the studio Toei Animation and is based on a manga.

Emperor Pilaf started pacing around his hideout while having a sad look on his face. One of his henchmen politely asked, "Boss, are you okay?"

Emperor Pilaf angrily said, "No I'm not. I still haven't found a way of dealing with my bothersome enemies. I've been enemies with Goku for so long that he's not a kid anymore. He's an adult now. However, that's not the only thing that's driving my beautiful mind crazy." He sighed and said, "I'm lonely."

One of the henchmen said, "You have us."

Emperor Pilaf angrily asked, "Do you think that I care about you fools?" He paused and said, "My interest is in having a companion, someone I can have good times with."

One of the henchmen asked, "Are you talking about a girlfriend?"

Emperor Pilaf angrily replied, "How dare you ask such a personal experience. Your rude question isn't exactly wrong though." He thought about it and said, "I'm going to go for a walk so I can sort out my feelings." He angrily stared at his henchmen and said, "Clean up my lair. It better look like the cleanest form of evil lair by the time I get back."

Emperor Pilaf started walking around a field of grass. He looked around at the sky and at the people of the city while thinking about what he should do.

Goku, Vegeta, and Bulma were going for a walk together. They saw that Emperor Pilaf was around. Goku nervously said, "Oh dear. It's Pilaf."

Vegeta asked, "You're actually scared of that pipsqueak?"

Goku said, "I'm afraid I am." He was so scared that he started doing a scared dance.

Vegeta angrily replied, "Goku, you're pathetic."

Bulma tried to be the peacekeeper between Goku and Vegeta so she said, "Lets not fight guys."

Goku replied, "Come on Bulma. Fighting is one of my top five favorite things to do."

Vegeta angrily responded, "Your other favorite things involve being a dumb simpleton who gets scared by the least scary stuff ever!"

Goku whined, "Don't be rude."

Vegeta started getting his fists ready while saying, "Lets skip any and all attempts at wordplay. Lets just beat the crap out of each other."

Goku stuck his hands in the air and said, "Lets not fight each other this time. I believe that Emperor Pilaf is the one that needs to be taken care of."

Vegeta sighed and replied, "Very well then."

Vegeta walked up to Emperor Pilaf. Pilaf stared at him and asked, "What the heck do you want?"

Vegeta sounded and looked intense while saying, "I want to beat you up!"

Emperor Pilaf lightly giggled while saying, "It seems like you've never truly grown up Vegeta. You still act like a childish fool who lets anger solves his problems."

Vegeta grabbed Pilaf and replied, "Prepare to face the ultimate wrath." He started beating Pilaf up. Pilaf was small and didn't have that many fighting skills so he was no match for Vegeta. Vegeta spent a few minutes beating Pilaf up.

Bulma saw what happened and desperately wanted to save Pilaf. She gently pulled Vegeta away and said, "You need to knock if off. Emperor Pilaf has a ton of manner problems, but that's no excuse to beat him up so brutally."

Vegeta replied, "Come on Bulma. I was using barely painful attack moves on him."

Bulma folded her arms and responded, "It was too much for him so apologize and let go of your anger problems."

Vegeta replied, "I'll stop the fight. However, my anger is one of my greatest strengths so I won't let go of that problem."

Emperor Pilaf was surprised that Bulma had saved him. He looked at her and said, "Um, thank you, but why did you do that?"

Bulma replied, "You deserved it. You may have problems, but you don't deserve to be treated with such a lack of respect."

Emperor Pilaf was surprised to hear Bulma speak of him in such a flattering way. He wasn't used to being treated with respect. Pretty much everybody made fun of him. His henchmen often complimented him, but it was a more phony type of respect. He liked hearing Bulma's nice words and he didn't want it to end. He gently asked, "Would you like to get a soda at the store with me?"

Goku giggled and said, "Nobody would want to be with a nerd like you."

Vegeta angrily said, "Go away Pilaf, because I'm prepared to beat the heck out of you."

Emperor Pilaf was desperate to receive more kindness so he sprayed knockout gas at Bulma and he quickly glued Goku and Vegeta's feet to the ground. He held Bulma in his arms and said, "Goodbye Goku and Vegeta. I won't have to deal with your angry and clueless nonsense anymore. I have new plans and they're going to get me the sunshine that I rightfully deserve." He did an evil laugh.

Emperor Pilaf brought Bulma back to his lair. He looked around to see if his henchmen had cleaned up the place. He saw that they had cleaned it, but it wasn't as nice looking as he wanted it to be. He grabbed one of his henchmen and said, "This lack of charm is totally unacceptable."

The henchman replied, "I admit that I'm freaky and lacking in charm."

Emperor Pilaf angrily responded, "I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about the lair that you and the other henchmen did a mediocre job at cleaning. Clean the place a second time while I take care of my guest."

Bulma opened her eyes and asked, "What's going on?"

Emperor Pilaf walked up to her and said, "Greetings Bulma. I'm afraid that I invited you here in a rude way."

Bulma replied, "You didn't even ask me here. You just kidnapped me and you didn't even ask me whether or not I wanted to get kidnapped."

Emperor Pilaf angrily screamed, "Who would want to get kidnapped?" He calmed down and said, "I'm sorry. I'm not fond of who I am or the evil things I do."

Bulma folded her arms and asked, "Then why do you constantly try to make your evil plans a reality?"

Emperor Pilaf tried to have sympathetic look on his face while saying, "It's the only way that I can earn any kind of respect."

Bulma asked, "What are you talking about? How could being evil make you be respected?"

Emperor Pilaf said, "I'm small, weak, and lacking in power. If I was a successful villain, I wouldn't be well liked by that dumb Goku, but I would admired by the members of villainy. I would be feared by the weaker good guys and the bad guys would finally start liking me."

Bulma asked, "Why did you kidnap me? Do you want me to play some kind of part in one of your evil plans?"

Emperor Pilaf said, "No, you were the first person to show me respect. I had never done anything to earn your respect, but you cared about me enough to save me from Vegeta. I don't get why you did that."

Bulma replied, "Vegeta was being a jerk. He lets his manly strength be in charge of his decisions and he ignores the common sense of his brain."

Emperor Pilaf responded, "You're very sweet Bulma. I could use someone like you to brighten things up around here."

One of the henchmen asked, "Do you need a lamp to brighten things up boss?"

Emperor Pilaf angrily replied, "No, that's not what I meant you idiot."

Bulma folded her arms and responded, "This type of behavior proves that you need to work on your manners."

Emperor Pilaf was about to complain to her, but he had too much of a soft spot for her to do that. He looked at her and asked, "Do you think that I have any chance of redeeming myself?"

Bulma smiled and said, "Of course I do. I think that all criminals have the potential to redeem themselves."

Emperor Pilaf replied, "You're not like Goku or Vegeta. You're so much nicer than Vegeta and you're so much smarter than Goku."

Bulma responded, "I do put a lot of effort into not being like them."

Meanwhile, Goku and Vegeta still had their feet glued to the ground. Vegeta angrily asked, "How the heck are we supposed to get out of here?"

Goku said, "We're going to have to stop fighting each other and start fighting the real problems together."

Vegeta replied, "Very well then." Goku and Vegeta teamed up to break the material that had their feet glued to the ground.

Goku said, "We got to find Bulma. Where do you think she is?"

Vegeta angrily replied, "Don't be a fool. Pilaf kidnapped her so he took her to his hideout."

Emperor Pilaf and Bulma were having a nice conversation about morality, but that was interrupted by Goku and Vegeta's loud and powerful entrance. They burst open the entrance to the lair and started beating up the henchmen.

Emperor Pilaf angrily said, "Those fight loving doofuses are ruining anything."

Vegeta angrily replied, "Goku's the only one who might count as a doofus. I'm super smart."

Emperor Pilaf lightly chuckled and said, "Give me a break Vegeta. Even Bulma thinks that you aren't that smart." Vegeta freaked out and started beating up Pilaf.

Bulma nervously replied, "Please stop fighting him Vegeta. He's not trained for a fight and he has the potential to redeem himself."

Goku responded, "Don't worry Bulma. Vegeta and I worked out our issues. He's got anger problems, but he's a cool guy."

Bulma said, "He's also a bully who loves fighting too much."

Vegeta ended his fight with Emperor Pilaf. Pilaf was feeling very weak and tired. Pilaf angrily looked at Vegeta and said, "You can have Bulma. Just leave me alone."

Goku did a victory dance and said, "Vegeta, our new friendship helped us save Bulma from Emperor Pilaf."

Vegeta replied, "I'm a way better and smarter and fighter than you, but you are pretty good."

Goku said, "Thanks bro." Goku and Vegeta walked out.

Bulma walked up to Emperor Pilaf and gave him a hug. She said, "Don't give up on hope. I know that you can become better and I wish the best for you."

Emperor Pilaf smiled and replied, "Thank you Bulma. You gave me the sunshine that I was looking for." Bulma gave him a platonic kiss on the cheek and walked out.

One of the henchmen asked, "What should we do now boss?"

Emperor Pilaf smiled and said, "Start preparing for a brighter future."


End file.
